Someday, my prince will come, but my King is with me...

My kids asked me when I'll "be done with the annulment." (The better question is when the annulment will be done w/ me!) They want me to find someone, I guess. I tried dating briefly last year after the divorce, in the post-divorce insanity and grief. I stopped when I realized I was making myself miserable -- and had put barriers between myself and God. Let's just say that dating is a near occasion of sin for me today.

Anyhow, I am in limbo. I actually am enjoying it today. I didn't date when I was separated at all, on principle. Not sure why I lost my principles once the divorce was granted. Fallen human nature, I guess. Today the main man in my life is the Son of Man. He's all I need.

Do I ever want a mere mortal in my life? Yep, a lot of times I do. Especially when I need to lift something heavy. But also when my kids aren't with me. I do get lonely. Late at night, too. Sometimes I just want a hand to hold, a muscular shoulder to cry on. Someone to be my champion.

There are advantages to being in the state I am in. I get to make ALL the choices about decor. My husband was very controlling. I made no choices about decor for 15 years. That stunk. It was hard when I moved out because I didn't know what my own preferences were.

I also get to dress myself without too much criticism (I get some from the snarky teenager) today. I can wear what I like.

I get to put religious statues, pictures, holy cards, and the like wherever I want. I can go to church and pray all I want, without the name-calling, putdowns, and snide remarks. I can give as much as I can afford -- which ain't much -- in the collection.

I can open up my bills without being shocked at the charges that I didn't make...

I can take the job I want. Amazingly, the job I wanted materialized after the divorce and my experiment with dating.

I get to have TWO WHOLE cats. I am happy. No, I am not turning into a cat lady. Two is quite enough, thank you. I did want the cat to be less lonely. He is. He has someone to pick on. : /

Which brings me back to married life...I want better for myself and my daughters than what I have experienced with their dad. I pray, and hope, if it is God's will, that I can find a man who can show them how a man treats a woman, and how a sacramental marriage works.

Keep me in your prayers.